The distinguishing mark of a Man is the hand, the instrument with which he does all his mischief.
- said Snowball, one of the pigs in George Orwell's Animal Farm
Sunday, 13 May 2007
MQFW
Till I finally cried
Which started the whole world laughing
Oh, but I didn't see
That the joke was on me
-from the song I Started A Joke by the Bee Gees
Which started the whole world laughing
Oh, but I didn't see
That the joke was on me
-from the song I Started A Joke by the Bee Gees
MQFW
It's so damn hot!
Milk was a bad...choice!
-said Will Ferrell playing as Ron Burgundy in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Milk was a bad...choice!
-said Will Ferrell playing as Ron Burgundy in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
the guy that works at the record store...episode 8
(Tonight on: Who's the weirdest of them all?!)
(We have contestants who got lost...)
Customer: Where am I?
Record Guy: At the record store.
Customer: Really?
(Contestants who...lose themselves?)
Customer: I'm not sure which one I like...uh..which one do you think I like?
(Contestants who asked for directions...)
Customer: I'm outside your record store but where is it?
(And contestants who refuse to accept directions...)
Customer: Do you know where's the nearest shop that sells musical instruments?
Record Guy: It's in the shopping centre just down the road.
Customer: I don't think so. Thanks anyway.
(So get ready to see the weird...)
Customer: Is U2 now called Linkin Park?
(The strange...)
Customer: Do you guys sell pirated stuff at the record store? If not, can you bring it in for me?
(And the plain scary...)
Customer: Can I have another plastic bag please? It's for my dog.
(So if there's one thing we learn, it is to tell you life's simple truth...)
Customer: Why you make things so complicate?! I don't like complicate things! I can't know what you are talking about everytime!
(Right here on: Who's the weirdest of them all?!)
(We have contestants who got lost...)
Customer: Where am I?
Record Guy: At the record store.
Customer: Really?
(Contestants who...lose themselves?)
Customer: I'm not sure which one I like...uh..which one do you think I like?
(Contestants who asked for directions...)
Customer: I'm outside your record store but where is it?
(And contestants who refuse to accept directions...)
Customer: Do you know where's the nearest shop that sells musical instruments?
Record Guy: It's in the shopping centre just down the road.
Customer: I don't think so. Thanks anyway.
(So get ready to see the weird...)
Customer: Is U2 now called Linkin Park?
(The strange...)
Customer: Do you guys sell pirated stuff at the record store? If not, can you bring it in for me?
(And the plain scary...)
Customer: Can I have another plastic bag please? It's for my dog.
(So if there's one thing we learn, it is to tell you life's simple truth...)
Customer: Why you make things so complicate?! I don't like complicate things! I can't know what you are talking about everytime!
(Right here on: Who's the weirdest of them all?!)
Friday, 4 May 2007
the guy that works at the record store...episode 7
Looks like aliens do live among us.....
(The record guy is at the counter...daydreaming... feeling sleepy....and listening to the romantic and hypnotic sounds of Lifehouse...wishing that he was with someone...then a motherf*cker showed up wanting to pay for something...asshole...)
Record Guy: Excuse me, do you have your IC with you? I need to check because the Avril Lavigne cd you are buying is NC16.
Customer:........(smiling)
Record Guy: Sir, I need to see some form of identification.
Customer:.....(still smiling)
Record Guy: Sir, do you hear me? Do you know what I am talking about? You. Need. To. Be. 16.
Customer:.....(smiles and shakes his head)
Record Guy: My goodness....do you speak or understand English?
Customer:......(Shakes his head and gave the signal that he didnt understand the language)
Record Guy: Nevermind....that will be $38.90.
(Oh yeah, the two cds that he bought contained songs that were all sung in English. The songs are written in English. The artistes speaks English and they come from countries that practices English as their first language. Now, what's the purpose of those cds again?)
Hmmm.....?
(The record guy is at the counter...daydreaming... feeling sleepy....and listening to the romantic and hypnotic sounds of Lifehouse...wishing that he was with someone...then a motherf*cker showed up wanting to pay for something...asshole...)
Record Guy: Excuse me, do you have your IC with you? I need to check because the Avril Lavigne cd you are buying is NC16.
Customer:........(smiling)
Record Guy: Sir, I need to see some form of identification.
Customer:.....(still smiling)
Record Guy: Sir, do you hear me? Do you know what I am talking about? You. Need. To. Be. 16.
Customer:.....(smiles and shakes his head)
Record Guy: My goodness....do you speak or understand English?
Customer:......(Shakes his head and gave the signal that he didnt understand the language)
Record Guy: Nevermind....that will be $38.90.
(Oh yeah, the two cds that he bought contained songs that were all sung in English. The songs are written in English. The artistes speaks English and they come from countries that practices English as their first language. Now, what's the purpose of those cds again?)
Hmmm.....?
MQFW
Go and tell the king
That the sky is falling in
When it's not
Maybe not
- taken from the song 2+2=5 on the album Hail to the Thief by Radiohead
That the sky is falling in
When it's not
Maybe not
- taken from the song 2+2=5 on the album Hail to the Thief by Radiohead
MQFW
Spongebob: But Mr Krabbs, the kids have been waiting all day to see Krabby the Clown. I cant hold them any longer....
Mr Krabbs: Just hold them back! And make sure they buy those Krabby Patties! I'll be counting me money first before they see Krabby the Clown!
- taken from Nick's Spongebob Squarepants
Mr Krabbs: Just hold them back! And make sure they buy those Krabby Patties! I'll be counting me money first before they see Krabby the Clown!
- taken from Nick's Spongebob Squarepants
Have you ever wondered where these people are going?... Part 1
Have you ever wondered where these people are going?
It's too early but these people are out
It's so early and you are going to work
Yet they dont seem the type
They dont dress up like any salesgirl
It does not seem like they are hospitable
They dont smell like any of those corporate types
Yet they are going to work with you
They look like they didnt bathe
They try to act busy and important
They carry little and insignificant stuff with them
Yet you wonder why in the world they have your seat
They sleep and stone
They chat and mingle amongst their own
And when you hear a familiar tune, its their phone
Yet you have this feeling that they have no purpose there
They get frustrated when you bump into them
They get agitated when you accidentally stepped on their foot
They give you a certain kind of look when you are too near them
Yet they are there with you
They look fresh and alert
They are too aware of their surroundings
They are not oblivious
Yet they pretend to be tired and weary
And when it's time to go back home, they are there
Similar not the same
And it starts all over again
You have to wonder: Where are these people going?
Copyright of kid you not
It's too early but these people are out
It's so early and you are going to work
Yet they dont seem the type
They dont dress up like any salesgirl
It does not seem like they are hospitable
They dont smell like any of those corporate types
Yet they are going to work with you
They look like they didnt bathe
They try to act busy and important
They carry little and insignificant stuff with them
Yet you wonder why in the world they have your seat
They sleep and stone
They chat and mingle amongst their own
And when you hear a familiar tune, its their phone
Yet you have this feeling that they have no purpose there
They get frustrated when you bump into them
They get agitated when you accidentally stepped on their foot
They give you a certain kind of look when you are too near them
Yet they are there with you
They look fresh and alert
They are too aware of their surroundings
They are not oblivious
Yet they pretend to be tired and weary
And when it's time to go back home, they are there
Similar not the same
And it starts all over again
You have to wonder: Where are these people going?
Copyright of kid you not
Thursday, 3 May 2007
MQFW (Memorable Quotes From Wherever)
Kumar: What's wrong with you?! You could have asked her if she wanted to come along with us! You know, you're worthless.
Harold: No. I am just not worthwhile.
- taken from the movie Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
Harold: No. I am just not worthwhile.
- taken from the movie Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
Tuesday, 1 May 2007
Memorable Quotes From Wherever (MQFW)
Father: Dont you want to become a lawyer?
Son: Of course not. Nobody wants to become a lawyer. Thats why they are paid so much.
- taken from the movie Thicker Than Blood
Son: Of course not. Nobody wants to become a lawyer. Thats why they are paid so much.
- taken from the movie Thicker Than Blood
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
the guy that works at the record store...episode 6
After this, even Michael Scofield would want to devise a plan to save the guy that works at the record store....
(Oh you know how it all starts...)
Customer: Can you help me check something?
Record Guy: Yeah sure!
Customer: Do you have Fall Out Boy singles?
Record Guy: Let me check.....uh,nope.
Customer: How about MCR singles?
Record Guy: Mmmm...out of stock.
Customer: Ok, wait let me write some more.
(So the customer took out an A4 sized piece of paper and began jotting down 18 band names. Yes people. 18. Not 1, not 2, not even a merciful 5. But 18! Dear god, what sins have the record guy committed that deserves such a punishment?)
Customer: Can you check for me whether all these bands have singles?
(All? Did he just say all ? So the record guy obliged and painstakingly searched one...by one...by one....by one and the answers were all the same: No. Out of stock. No longer in production. But no... it didnt stop there...As long as there is man, Satan is always nearby.)
Customer: Can you check all of them again? You know, double confirm?
(KNNCCB.....echoed the inner voice of the record guy)
Customer: Something wrong with your database ah? Why everytime dont have?
Record Guy: Because there's no demand for it.
Customer: But I want.
Record Guy: Then its only you. You speak for yourself.
Customer: Can I order it?
Record Guy: Dude, why dont you just get the album? We have all the albums of the bands that you are looking for.
Customer: It's not exclusive.
Record Guy: Then fine. You can order it but there's no guarantee that it will arrive.
Customer: Dont you guys know?
Record Guy: No. We dont. We are the middle man not the manufacturer, the producer or the supplier.
Customer: Nevermind. I still want to order.
Record Guy: Dont tell me all 18.
Customer: Can check again for me. I want to choose which one to order.
(So the record guy checked...again...and he ended up wanting 6 of the titles that were searched.)
Record Guy: You have to pay a deposit. $60 in total.
Customer: So much! Why?
Record Guy: Because it's alot of cds.
(With the help of a good samaritan, one of record guy's colleague did the orders.)
Customer: When it arrives, then what happens?
Record Guy: IF it comes, we will call you.
Customer: Shall I call you?
Record Guy: No you shall not. We will call you. Do not call us. Never ever do that.
Customer: Oh ok...
(Oh yeah, just for the record, this whole ordeal lasted about 45 minutes. In real time of course.)
Hmmm....?!
(Oh you know how it all starts...)
Customer: Can you help me check something?
Record Guy: Yeah sure!
Customer: Do you have Fall Out Boy singles?
Record Guy: Let me check.....uh,nope.
Customer: How about MCR singles?
Record Guy: Mmmm...out of stock.
Customer: Ok, wait let me write some more.
(So the customer took out an A4 sized piece of paper and began jotting down 18 band names. Yes people. 18. Not 1, not 2, not even a merciful 5. But 18! Dear god, what sins have the record guy committed that deserves such a punishment?)
Customer: Can you check for me whether all these bands have singles?
(All? Did he just say all ? So the record guy obliged and painstakingly searched one...by one...by one....by one and the answers were all the same: No. Out of stock. No longer in production. But no... it didnt stop there...As long as there is man, Satan is always nearby.)
Customer: Can you check all of them again? You know, double confirm?
(KNNCCB.....echoed the inner voice of the record guy)
Customer: Something wrong with your database ah? Why everytime dont have?
Record Guy: Because there's no demand for it.
Customer: But I want.
Record Guy: Then its only you. You speak for yourself.
Customer: Can I order it?
Record Guy: Dude, why dont you just get the album? We have all the albums of the bands that you are looking for.
Customer: It's not exclusive.
Record Guy: Then fine. You can order it but there's no guarantee that it will arrive.
Customer: Dont you guys know?
Record Guy: No. We dont. We are the middle man not the manufacturer, the producer or the supplier.
Customer: Nevermind. I still want to order.
Record Guy: Dont tell me all 18.
Customer: Can check again for me. I want to choose which one to order.
(So the record guy checked...again...and he ended up wanting 6 of the titles that were searched.)
Record Guy: You have to pay a deposit. $60 in total.
Customer: So much! Why?
Record Guy: Because it's alot of cds.
(With the help of a good samaritan, one of record guy's colleague did the orders.)
Customer: When it arrives, then what happens?
Record Guy: IF it comes, we will call you.
Customer: Shall I call you?
Record Guy: No you shall not. We will call you. Do not call us. Never ever do that.
Customer: Oh ok...
(Oh yeah, just for the record, this whole ordeal lasted about 45 minutes. In real time of course.)
Hmmm....?!
Poor Poor Fans of Avril....
Now if you didnt know angsty Avril had just turned...how shall I put it....happy, contented and cheery- then lucky you! Her latest album entitled 'the best damn thing ever' proves the latter statement in just about every way. Her album is simply so inane that your ears will 'bleed' upon the second spin. Her new 'bubblegum' approach to song writing will make your eyes roll over twice whenever you hear her scream 'Hey Hey You You, I wanna be your girlfriend!'.
Yes, this is what happens when an angry person finally discovers that there's more to life than just being angry and unhappy all the time. Things like marriage (She's married you know, to this Sum 41 guy I think. Honestly, I didnt know and I didnt care to know.) and the sudden need to dance your heart out, will soften that meanie in you. With a much more mature vocabulary (not necessarily attitude) being used in the album, it often sounds like a child trying to scream out for recognition.
Most artistes grew up through the ages. Usually, this was reflected through the music they made. But for Avril's case, this was not so. Suddenly, with one wave of the wand, she turned much younger! Too young perhaps. And because of this jarring transformation, her fan base somewhat shifted as well. And yes, you have guessed it! The fans have become younger!
But these fans are in for a treat. Her cds, the ones that include her dvd as well, can only be bought by those who are 16 and above! So poor 'pre-puberty' kids had to be turned down by 'that mean guy at the record store'. So, you have an album that predominantly caters to a younger audience but this particular group are unable to see you perform on dvd? Does this extend to live performances as well Avril? What.The.Hell. I wonder what she does on that dvd.... hmm? Dare we think dirty thoughts? No, we cant because its for the young! Profanity maybe? Highly likely so. Thus, you have to be 16 and above to be all 'bubblegummy' and vulgar it seems. And dont you dare link this discussion, in some way or another, to freedom of speech.
It's an idiotic dilemma for Avril. To attract the young and not being able to entertain them after that. There's only one way to describe her: She's like soooo whatever!
Yes, this is what happens when an angry person finally discovers that there's more to life than just being angry and unhappy all the time. Things like marriage (She's married you know, to this Sum 41 guy I think. Honestly, I didnt know and I didnt care to know.) and the sudden need to dance your heart out, will soften that meanie in you. With a much more mature vocabulary (not necessarily attitude) being used in the album, it often sounds like a child trying to scream out for recognition.
Most artistes grew up through the ages. Usually, this was reflected through the music they made. But for Avril's case, this was not so. Suddenly, with one wave of the wand, she turned much younger! Too young perhaps. And because of this jarring transformation, her fan base somewhat shifted as well. And yes, you have guessed it! The fans have become younger!
But these fans are in for a treat. Her cds, the ones that include her dvd as well, can only be bought by those who are 16 and above! So poor 'pre-puberty' kids had to be turned down by 'that mean guy at the record store'. So, you have an album that predominantly caters to a younger audience but this particular group are unable to see you perform on dvd? Does this extend to live performances as well Avril? What.The.Hell. I wonder what she does on that dvd.... hmm? Dare we think dirty thoughts? No, we cant because its for the young! Profanity maybe? Highly likely so. Thus, you have to be 16 and above to be all 'bubblegummy' and vulgar it seems. And dont you dare link this discussion, in some way or another, to freedom of speech.
It's an idiotic dilemma for Avril. To attract the young and not being able to entertain them after that. There's only one way to describe her: She's like soooo whatever!
Tuesday, 17 April 2007
the guy that works at the record store...episode 5
After this episode, the record guy could just feel his heart crying...sighing *haiz...*...and crumbling...
(A guy walked into the store and he seemed like a foreigner...the record guy could just foresee that this foreign guy is going to give him trouble or worst - trauma.)
Customer: Do you like Taylor Hicks?
Record Guy: He's not a bad singer. Cool and eccentric. Have not listened to his album though.
Customer: I like him.
Record Guy: That's great for you then!
Customer: Where can I see him?
Record Guy: Im sorry?
Customer: I want to see him, where is he at?
Record Guy: You mean the person? The actual person?
Customer: Yes!
Record Guy: Sorry Sir, but he's not here. He's not even here in Singapore.
Customer: How can he not be here?!
Record Guy: Because no event organiser in Singapore invited him?
Customer: But why? You guys are such a huge record store!
Record Guy: Im not sure. Maybe he's too expensive to come over for a concert.
Customer: Concert? No no no no noo...I mean the music! The person's.... cd! Yes!
Record Guy: Oh. Second floor.
Hmmmm......?
(A guy walked into the store and he seemed like a foreigner...the record guy could just foresee that this foreign guy is going to give him trouble or worst - trauma.)
Customer: Do you like Taylor Hicks?
Record Guy: He's not a bad singer. Cool and eccentric. Have not listened to his album though.
Customer: I like him.
Record Guy: That's great for you then!
Customer: Where can I see him?
Record Guy: Im sorry?
Customer: I want to see him, where is he at?
Record Guy: You mean the person? The actual person?
Customer: Yes!
Record Guy: Sorry Sir, but he's not here. He's not even here in Singapore.
Customer: How can he not be here?!
Record Guy: Because no event organiser in Singapore invited him?
Customer: But why? You guys are such a huge record store!
Record Guy: Im not sure. Maybe he's too expensive to come over for a concert.
Customer: Concert? No no no no noo...I mean the music! The person's.... cd! Yes!
Record Guy: Oh. Second floor.
Hmmmm......?
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
the guy that works at the record store...episode 4
(A customer walks into the store and the record guy watches him suspiciously as he slowly approaches the counter....smiling....)
Record Guy: Hi....
Customer: Hi!
Record Guy: Uh...may I help you with something?
Customer: Is this the information counter?
Record Guy: No, it is not.
Customer: Oh! So where do I ask for information on a particular item?
Record Guy: Right here. But this is the cashier area not the information counter. I am a Sales Associate. By me providing information, it is just something additional.
Customer: So you are not a Receptionist?
Record Guy: Nope.
Customer: So where do I find the Receptionist?
Record Guy: There isnt any.
Customer: So where do I go?
Record Guy: Just ask me.
Customer: Oh ok then. Do you know if you have this cd called 'The Dancing Wolves'?
Record Guy: Let me check.
(As he types the title of the cd into the computer database to search, the record guy is glad that they do not have any in stock)
Record Guy: It is out of stock.
Customer: Oh. Do you know if they have it in Malaysia?
Record Guy: No I dont.
Customer: Why not?
Record Guy: Because I dont live in Malaysia and I dont work in a shop that sells cds in Malaysia.
Customer: Oh really?! How about Japan or Australia?
Record Guy: Same explanation Sir...
Customer: Cant you guys search the entire globe for shops that sell such a cd?
Record Guy: No, we cant. We are situated in Singapore and we can only tell you the availability of stocks in Singapore and nowhere else. We are a music store Sir, not a research laboratory.
Customer: Oh...I see. But when the cd comes into this asian region, do let me know. Even if it has launched in other countries first before Singapore ok? Here's my contact and details.
Record Guy: Su....re...
Hmmm......?
Record Guy: Hi....
Customer: Hi!
Record Guy: Uh...may I help you with something?
Customer: Is this the information counter?
Record Guy: No, it is not.
Customer: Oh! So where do I ask for information on a particular item?
Record Guy: Right here. But this is the cashier area not the information counter. I am a Sales Associate. By me providing information, it is just something additional.
Customer: So you are not a Receptionist?
Record Guy: Nope.
Customer: So where do I find the Receptionist?
Record Guy: There isnt any.
Customer: So where do I go?
Record Guy: Just ask me.
Customer: Oh ok then. Do you know if you have this cd called 'The Dancing Wolves'?
Record Guy: Let me check.
(As he types the title of the cd into the computer database to search, the record guy is glad that they do not have any in stock)
Record Guy: It is out of stock.
Customer: Oh. Do you know if they have it in Malaysia?
Record Guy: No I dont.
Customer: Why not?
Record Guy: Because I dont live in Malaysia and I dont work in a shop that sells cds in Malaysia.
Customer: Oh really?! How about Japan or Australia?
Record Guy: Same explanation Sir...
Customer: Cant you guys search the entire globe for shops that sell such a cd?
Record Guy: No, we cant. We are situated in Singapore and we can only tell you the availability of stocks in Singapore and nowhere else. We are a music store Sir, not a research laboratory.
Customer: Oh...I see. But when the cd comes into this asian region, do let me know. Even if it has launched in other countries first before Singapore ok? Here's my contact and details.
Record Guy: Su....re...
Hmmm......?
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