TGITA Ep 3...

Dear Diary...

Ah...my first army excursion with the platoon to the woods. An excursion filled with exciting sights, sounds, dirt and stupidity. Well...come to think of it, it was not so much of sights and sounds because all you could see was green and brown (including your mates) and "Kroo! Kroo! Kroo!". So it was all dirt and stupidity.

Our objective: learn how not to die early, when going to war, in the woods of Singapore.

Method of achieving objective: Use leaves and other natural stuff so that the so called 'enemy' would not be able to see you that easily.

Hmm...sounds easy enough. But it's always easier said than done.

After listening to a lecture filled with grammatical errors and limited vocabulary, sitting on damp grass and playing with the grasshoppers, our soaked bums finally got a rest from taking in all that water through their cheeks. However, such a relief was short lived.

"OK GENTLEMEN! GET READY TO GO INTO THE WOODS! WHILE WE WAIT FOR THE SUN TO SET, TOUCH UP ON THAT CAMOUFLAGE OF YOURS! SOME OF YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A P*$%* ON YOUR FACE! ALL PINK AND STUFF!"

Ok...that wasn't necessary.

"AND SOME INSECT REPELLANT TOO! UNLESS YOU WANT THE MOSQUITOES TO GET FAT AND HAPPY!"

Right. So we went about our business until..."AH!!!!!!!! SARJEN (Actual spelling is sergeant)! LIONEL (Not his real name. Even if it was, you wouldn't know.) IS PUTTING INSECT REPELLANT IN HIS EYES!" And the sergeant said "HUH?!" and dashed towards him like a kindergarden teacher to a boy who just swallowed his bottle of art glue. "SIAO BOH!" "HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!" "CONFIRM BLIND ONE LIKE BIRD!" said the rest. "YOU CRAZY OR WHAT?! AND WHY YOUR FACE ALL BLACK?! GREEN FIRST LAH A**, THEN BLACK!" scolded the sergeant.

Oh yeah, before I go on further, the reason why all the speech bubbles are in capital letters is because everyone's shouting.

"OUCH!" I screamed. "STOP LAH!" "WHAT'S GOING ON NOW?! OI!" said sergeant. " HE'S POKING MY BUTT WITH THE BARREL OF HIS RIFLE AND HEADBUTTING IT AS WELL SARJEN!" I said. "OI! STOP IT! STOP IT! BEFORE YOU SLEEP OVER THIS WEEKEND! NOW SHUT UP! SHUT UP! THE SUN IS SETTING!" So, we paid our respects to the setting sun, or according to the army, practice our night discipline, and kept quiet. So far, it was already night but we were not disciplined.

"SHHHH!" as we went into the woods. "shut up lah...." "Eeee, but got shit..." "WHERE?! WHERE?!" "i said shut up right..." "how you know it's shit...not smelly what..." "but it's different in colour from the mud..." " oi! i said shut up right..." "SHHHH!!!!!"

A few minutes later..."Eeee...got centipede! Got centipede!" "WHERE?! WHERE?!" "eh! you all ah...where's your night discipline...?! Better shut up before you get it from me back at the company line you understand...! Centipede never disturb you what...! You get scared for what...?!"

After that fiasco, it was time to go back. "you, you, you and you...take out your torchlights. put it on your helmets." "eh! don't shine the lights at my eyes leh...
!" "where sia my torchlight...?!" "point the torchlight forward lah...point upwards for what...?! Want to see bird ah...?!" "hehehehehehehe..." "oi...! put torchlight also want to make noise...! it's still dark you know...!" "SHHHH!!!!" "so much noise lah...! Go back confirm kena one...!"

And guess what? We were in trouble because we slept quite late that night. And we slept with aching muscles- not from the excursion but from doing all those push-ups that followed.

Yours truly
TGITA

Thoughts from a Little Monster in my Head Ep 16...

It's not that easy
It's not that easy
To stay where you are
And not look over the cliff

It's not that easy
It's not that easy
To stay by the shore
And not sail towards the sunset

A moderate beauty
A moderate beauty
They charm me
You charm me

A moderate beauty
A moderate beauty
They charm me
You charm me

It's not that easy
It's not that easy
To seek shelter
From a child-attractive rain

It's not that easy
It's not that easy
To not walk across the pastures
With the 'No' sign nailed on

A moderate beauty
A moderate beauty
They charm me
You charm me

A moderate beauty
A moderate beauty
They charm me
You charm me

A little touch of this
A little touch of that
And it's fine
Just fine
It's fine
Just fine
Cause you charm me
Cause you charm me

This is why we should clean up the rivers!

Heheh...but seriously, we should.

Van Damme & Steven Segal are what?! Again?!

Giggle away humour junkies!

There There

Another cool music video...very Tim Burton.

Thoughts from a Little Monster in my Head Ep 15...

Bright ideas couldn't come across
My stoned little mind
Because the filament snapped
It simply snapped

Bright ideas couldn't come across
My boxed up mind
Because the switch flipped down
The fuse tripped now

Bright ideas couldn't come across
My current state of mind
Because this isn't my moment
My magical Mentos moment

And so the world floats by
Because I can't walk by
Undetected
Undetected

And so the world floats by
Because I can't walk by
Undetected
Undetected

Thoughts from a Little Monster in my Head Ep 14...

I am that fool you sent on a journey
Across parallel realms
Meeting gypsy ladies

I am that fool you sent on a journey
Taking magical pictures
And riding unicorns

With a bolt of lightning
I shall be king
I shall be king

I am that fool you sent on a journey
To find something precious
Somewhere somehow

I am that fool you sent on a journey
Returning unannounced
And to denounce

With a bolt of lightning
I shall be king
I shall be king

For I am the king that married a star
For I am the king that married a star

Sometimes when we try to work hard and find a decent job...

we wonder whether it is all worth the while to work for those we often come across...

It wouldn't be weird here...

Because it happens all the time in Singapore.

A Punchup at a Wedding

For objectors of forbidden love...

Get to the Choppah!

Another hilarious parody!

Thoughts from A Little Monster in Head Ep 13...

Bells ring to announce
That dinner's served
I want out
I want out

Like a pack of wolves
They surround me
I want out
I want out

This is my token of appreciation
80 percent error
Caused by humans
Caused by humans

Spare my head on your wall
As a trophy
I want out
I want out

Dissect my anatomy
Pump out my stomach
I want out
I want out

This is my token of appreciation
80 percent error
Caused by humans
Caused by humans

Thoughts from a Little Monster in My Head Ep 12...

Little origami swans
Scented ink
Purple dawn
Floating against the river

Pink on grey
Pink on grey
Would you think of me today?

Pink on grey
Pink on grey
I'd like to dream of you today.

Human waves
High as the sky
Suck us in
Suck us dry

Pink on grey
Pink on grey
Let us run,run,run

Pink on grey
Pink on grey
Before they come,come,come

For as long as I can remember
For as long as I can remember
I will remember
I will remember

Pink on grey
Pink on grey
Would you think of me today?

Thoughts from a Little Monster in My Head Ep 11...

This
This is
A diamond poem
A diamond
Poem

Sparkling
Shining jewel
Round and round
Wrapped around
Here

This
This is
A diamond poem
A valued
Poem