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Friday 21 September 2007

That Guy in The Army EP 1

Dear Diary...

Lets fast forward to all the fun parts with regards to my army experience! Lets forget about what equipment I received during my army stint, the uncomfortable ice breaking amongst strangers from all parts of the island and of course, the 'too-much-information-regarding-what-I-did-in-the army-till-my-girlfriend-nearly-falls-asleep-on-our-date-and-is-on-the-verge-of-dumping-me-and-associating-me-with-all-the-men-that-have-transformed-into-a-dull-dumbdud ' journey.

Lets talk about the people in my platoon; and the kind of trouble or nonsense they subject themselves to.

But lets set the background first...

I am no ordinary soldier. I am a special soldier.

Well, thats what the army medically classifies me as. So. I am special because I need special attention, in terms of training, and not because I was born perfect like a Spartan. I am considered the infirmed, the sick or the beancurd. In short, the PES C recruit.

According to the army I can't do much really. No strenuous activity (Yeah!), no real emphasis on my physicality (Yeah!) and no real physical punishment (Yeah!). Sounds real good already.

So you might think that I might have a missing limb or a missing organ or Ebola or something physically or biologically damaging or destructive. But no. I am perfectly fine. Its just my eyes. And no, the colour of my eyes aren't black. Its just that my lenses are rather...used. Therefore, I need my 'really thick' glasses. Other than that I am fine. I can stand. I can march. I can jump. I can run. I can squat. I can carry heavy things. I can carry light things. I can carry dangerous things. I can even be exposed to sunlight; and other substances, filthy or not. See... I AM FINE.

So how did I end up being in such a medical classification. That's because on a rainy and cold day, I, without really giving much thought about the medical screening and in the state of 'blurness', told the medical officer that I wanted to be in such a classification. Well, its not my fault really because he asked me if I wanted to be downgraded in a manner of asking whether a sugar-hungry child wanted candy. 'Can I give you PES C?' said the officer. 'Sure!' I answered. But heck! I didn't know what I agreed to after he squirted some medical concoction into my eyes that fogged it for almost 2 hours! And yes, I went home with a cloudy vision and I had to flag every damn bus that comes along, hoping that it's the correct one.

But I was lucky that I was classified as PES Crazy and not PES Creepy. Ohh yes....the latter is much worse of than those of my type. The latter looks and behaves like they are part of the Nightmare Before Christmas cast. And trust me, they don't need any costumes or professional acting classes to play the part. It's Halloween all year round for them! For now, lets not focus on them.

So, as you can see, that's the reason why, for my case, the people I was with and what they did, will be in the limelight of my journey. Other than that, I really love my girlfriend and friends...yeah...really...because I really wouldn't want to bore them to death or drive them away.

Yours
TGITA

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