That Guy in The Army EP 1

Dear Diary...

Lets fast forward to all the fun parts with regards to my army experience! Lets forget about what equipment I received during my army stint, the uncomfortable ice breaking amongst strangers from all parts of the island and of course, the 'too-much-information-regarding-what-I-did-in-the army-till-my-girlfriend-nearly-falls-asleep-on-our-date-and-is-on-the-verge-of-dumping-me-and-associating-me-with-all-the-men-that-have-transformed-into-a-dull-dumbdud ' journey.

Lets talk about the people in my platoon; and the kind of trouble or nonsense they subject themselves to.

But lets set the background first...

I am no ordinary soldier. I am a special soldier.

Well, thats what the army medically classifies me as. So. I am special because I need special attention, in terms of training, and not because I was born perfect like a Spartan. I am considered the infirmed, the sick or the beancurd. In short, the PES C recruit.

According to the army I can't do much really. No strenuous activity (Yeah!), no real emphasis on my physicality (Yeah!) and no real physical punishment (Yeah!). Sounds real good already.

So you might think that I might have a missing limb or a missing organ or Ebola or something physically or biologically damaging or destructive. But no. I am perfectly fine. Its just my eyes. And no, the colour of my eyes aren't black. Its just that my lenses are rather...used. Therefore, I need my 'really thick' glasses. Other than that I am fine. I can stand. I can march. I can jump. I can run. I can squat. I can carry heavy things. I can carry light things. I can carry dangerous things. I can even be exposed to sunlight; and other substances, filthy or not. See... I AM FINE.

So how did I end up being in such a medical classification. That's because on a rainy and cold day, I, without really giving much thought about the medical screening and in the state of 'blurness', told the medical officer that I wanted to be in such a classification. Well, its not my fault really because he asked me if I wanted to be downgraded in a manner of asking whether a sugar-hungry child wanted candy. 'Can I give you PES C?' said the officer. 'Sure!' I answered. But heck! I didn't know what I agreed to after he squirted some medical concoction into my eyes that fogged it for almost 2 hours! And yes, I went home with a cloudy vision and I had to flag every damn bus that comes along, hoping that it's the correct one.

But I was lucky that I was classified as PES Crazy and not PES Creepy. Ohh yes....the latter is much worse of than those of my type. The latter looks and behaves like they are part of the Nightmare Before Christmas cast. And trust me, they don't need any costumes or professional acting classes to play the part. It's Halloween all year round for them! For now, lets not focus on them.

So, as you can see, that's the reason why, for my case, the people I was with and what they did, will be in the limelight of my journey. Other than that, I really love my girlfriend and friends...yeah...really...because I really wouldn't want to bore them to death or drive them away.

Yours
TGITA

ANNOUNCEMENT: IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG...

Ladies and fellow men,

I have returned and I have survived. I have managed to tolerate stupidity and ridicule. I have prevented myself from being infected by the inane and mundane. I have gathered strength - physical,mental and spiritual. I have gathered both moral and real knowledge. And of course, I have gathered tales. Tales no man dare not to laugh. Tales that are currently undergoing construction due to confidential reasons.

So, hang in there.

But here are excerpts from literary texts that more or less describes what tales I am about to spin with regards to my journey. It aptly summarizes myself, the environment and the others:

'...He is not easy to describe. There is something wrong with his appearance; something displeasing, something downright detestable. I never saw a man I so disliked, and yet I scarce know why. He must be deformed somewhere; he gives a strong feeling of deformity, although I couldn't specify the point. He's an extraordinary-looking man, and yet I really can name nothing out of the way. No, Sir; I can make no hand of it; I can't describe him. And it's not want of memory; for I declare I can see him this moment...'

-said Mr Enfield to Mr Utterson when the latter asked the former to describe Mr Hyde in the book Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (1886)

'...Land in a swamp, march through the woods, and in some land post feel the savagery, the utter savagery, had closed round him - all that mysterious life of the wilderness that stirs in the forest, in the jungles, in the hearts of wild men. There's no initiation either into such mysteries. He has to live in the midst of the incomprehensible, which is also detestable. And it has a fascination, too, that goes to work upon him. The fascination of the abomination - you know, imagine the growing regrets, the longing to escape, the powerless disgust, the surrender, the hate...'

-said Marlow on how a change in the environment can show Man's true colours in the book Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (1902)

Thus, I have come back a weathered man. A moulded man. A loving man. A funny man.

And as they say:

Immerse your soul in love

- from the song Street Spirit [Fade Out] by Radiohead from the album The Bends

Let the show begin....soon.

13 September 2007

MQFW

Just the mere sight of him feels me with absolute nausea...

- said Autobot Farah, a Friend of A Decepticon

MQFW

...And no funny tricks hotshot! Do NOT attempt to grow a brain! - said Dennis Hopper to Keanu Reeves in the movie Speed

Green Idea 1...

Use a water bottle.

If you don't have one, invest in one.

Reduce plastic disposal.

Recycle any plastic containers that is no longer of use.

Save the earth.

Thoughts from a little Monster in my Head Ep 5...

And so he talks again.
But you know he is shouting.
From the inside of course.
He is unhappy.
Not very happy.
He talks and talks and talks.
About things that can never change.
Till his voice slowly.......dis....app..ears....
It's gone.
His tonsils starts to rust.
It crumbles.
He swallows the dust that was his tonsils.
His tongue became stiff.
It turns blue.
Then green.
As he tries touching it, hoping for some sensation,
It snaps.
Like a toothpick.
And the chunk of meat was cleanly snapped.
His lips felt tight.
It sealed itself shut.
It sewed itself shut.
It's completely shut.
Then his face cracked.
By now, he was afraid.
So he stopped talking.
Promised never to voice out any unnecessary concerns or angst.
Anyway, he could no longer do so.

ANNOUNCEMENT...

'The Story of Mr Donny Dill' postphoned to 6 July 2007.

Excavation Site at the Record Store closed temporarily due to heavy rainfall.

'That Guy in the Army' debut episode and season pushed back to a much later date. No dates were given or confirmed.

Rumours of the 'record guy' getting married late next year in 2008.

MQFW

You had to piss on our parade
You had to shred our big day
You had to ruin it for all concerned
In a drunken punchup at a wedding.

- taken from the song A Punchup At A Wedding from the album Hail to the Thief by Radiohead

the guy that works at the record store...episode 10 (Last Episode and Final Season)

As he woke up....he felt rather excited to go to work. But little did he know, that such excitement was not shared by his peers. He was excited because this was his last day at the record store - working at least. But his peers did not bother about that fact, let alone want to know the reason why. He was excited because he thought he would receive a farewell gift. But such expectations were too unrealistic. So, instead, he was excited about receiving a decent goodbye. A word of mouth. But he did not receive it. He received nothing.

On that particular day, his name did not even appear on the work schedule. He was confused. Checked. But did not get an accurate answer. He wanted to turn back and leave. Head for the comforts of home. But he felt compelled to stay. To indulge himself in music. To get to know new releases. To get lost in between the sound waves of loneliness. To have this first hand experience one last time. So, he decided to work, knowing really well how the day at work will go by, knowing how the day at work will end and knowing that his peers will not really take notice. After all, he is an asset. An expandable asset. An asset that has been expanded, he suspected, as he encountered new faces.

He stared at the new faces. They stared back and gave a polite smile. He smiled back. They were much more friendly than the faces he had already knew since last year. He puts on his dusty t-shirt. Swiped in. And went through the heavy door that separates peace and chaos. Once again, he was thrown into a world filled with fickle mindedness, filled with stubborn and headstrong people, filled with people who made him miserable and filled with people who blamed him if they could not or did not get what they want. Once again, he was just there.

And so he took up his position behind the counter. He began his day like any other day. Like the rest of his patriotic peers...

Customer: 101011110101010 11010111010101110 1101001

Record Guy: jfgksbvlhvepvihje;,nv;,jeovjk;vnfvn

Customer: 1101000101110 110111?

Record Guy: hbvchkdf-----djbsjkbcmndc++++=2433jbckdjccdj

Customer: Really?

Record Guy: That's right.

Customer: 1011110 1101011101010100111 011101011110 11101011

Record Guy: gdftfldfjkvvmdvovdldc,dol;ddl ljsdkfdndkcnd1021254dsjbsdlssvljkvvd.

Customer: 1110111 1110110000101111 0111011!!!!!!

Record Guy: fadkngisbfsklj 1010140101014254114050214251 ******** jabaljdj

Customer: Never mind.

Record Guy: I'm sorry and good luck.

The day was filled with bleeps and bloops. With twangs and tooks. Click and clangs. And swish and swoops. He was just there...

Customer: 1010001110101110101000110101 0100101011110101010

Record Guy: sgdsbdksfffj sldjsnuiioeopenfkj

Customer: 101110101 1000 HMV?

Record Guy: HMV gbfdfdfnm,kjdsjdsdjfdkdmcl

Customer: 11011 0111? 11101110 110000111100111011?!

Record Guy: I don't think so.

Customer: 1101000 000101 1110101010111 111101010000 10011001

Record Guy: fabvdsjdhsklcghccusnksscmi sksjdocmscgcls jsdsndo

Customer: I don't believe you.

Record Guy: It's OK.

He was exhausted. Suddenly, he realised something. He realised that the record store had already given him a gift. Even though a price was tagged to it, he had considerable discounts when purchasing them. This gift was priceless to him and he would not mind paying a bomb after discovering something he truly believed in. The record store constantly supplied him with the gift. The record store provided him with the advantageous link for his fix. The gift spoke to him in every way. The gift was in the form of music. And it was in the form of a band...And it kept him company there. Supplying him oxygen and patience...And then everything there made sense....

Customer: 10101110101011 0100101110 101001001 010101 Radiohead?

Record Guy: gjakbckjbccdm nk nljdjbdcn kdnckdjkmdkml Radiohead are my idols!

Customer: 1010011110111 010100101110 110101 Are they good?

Record Guy: sgvdskdbksh They are the best! You should try it!

Customer: Let me have a listen to it.

Record Guy: Sure!

Customer:......................................................I'll take it.

Record Guy: Excellent!

So the time passed. And his shift was nearing the end....until...

Customer: Excuse me. Do you sell the record store's t-shirt?

Record Guy: I'm sorry?

Customer: I mean the t-shirt you are wearing. Do you sell it? I want to buy it.

Record Guy: 101101010101100 100101010111 0101010 shdbakbskcbsccbckbcyuepjnxhzgh 101110 110101011011001 ahagjsbcccsjusn

Customer: Thank you.

And then it was over. Just like that. He is never going to work there again. He turned the key to his locker and locked it....he left some messages and then he was gone....

Record Guy: Yeah, like I was ever there in the first place.

-THE END-

Thoughts from a little Monster in my Head Ep 4...

'If I need it,
I need to buy it.'
And so goes the only principle that Rappoo repeats to himself.

'If I don't pay,
I will not get what I need.'
He said knowing the consequences of non-payment, incurring debts and poverty.

'But it's not my fault,
I don't have anything to pay them with.'
He said angrily. Frustrated and angst-ridden.

'I don't have much of what they want,
And what they want is what I need too.'
He logically blamed. For the way the world worked. For the way the world lived.

'I can't do anything about it.
My tears will not decrease the amount. My screams will not increase their understanding.'
He spoke. Wisely. Trying to calm himself down. Surprisingly, he could be at this stage faster than before.

'Yes. If I need it,
I must buy it.'
Like an epiphany, Rappoo had just created for himself a new principle. A new way of life. A new perspective.

'Or else, if I don't,
They will never let me have what I need.'
And with that new principle, came a clearer consequence. A bottom-line much more straightforward. An effect that Rappoo must understand no matter what.

MQFW

A heart that's
Filled up like a landfill,
A job that slowly kills you,
Bruises that won't heal.
You look so tired and happy,
Bring down the government,
They don't,
They don't speak for us.
I'll take a quiet life,
A handshake of carbon monoxide.
And no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent.
Silent.

- taken from the song No Surprises from the album OK Computer by Radiohead

Yet Another Article from The RJ Occasional!

MINI SERIES GETS A SLAMMING

Reported by - Riconstin Jaksten

Less than a week after M.R Production, a subsidiary and entertainment arm of kid you not Pte Ltd, offered a public apology to the fans of the comedy cult series 'The Guy that Works at the Record Store', the said subsidiary received yet another round of public outrage. But this time, those cries are not from ardent fans of the abovementioned cult series. Instead, these cries come from concerned members of the public demanding a ban in the subsidiary's latest mini-series, 'Thoughts From A Little Monster in My Head'.

The said mini-series spans approximately 5 minutes per episode and it is usually broadcasted, on Creative Central, in between a television programme that has just ended and another programme that is about to begin. Furthermore, these mini-series are broadcasted during times when '...children are still awake...', complained Mdm Riyu Joy, a full-time housewife taking care of 3 children aged 4, 6 and 9. ' I didn't like the mini-series. It's so graphic and disturbing. Even though I can roughly understand each episode's plot or bottom line and the children can't, the images and sounds accompanying each episode is enough to give the children nightmares!' she commented further.

The mini-series is indeed morbid and dark- from the short story lines to the images and music portraying them. When I asked Mr Riyt Juty, director and producer of the said mini-series, he casually and unapologetically explains, ' The team of writers and poets that work on this mini-series are highly sensitive people. Sensitive to their environments. Sensitive to events occurring. Sensitive about their work. But their intentions are not malicious or destructive. They believe in art as a medium of expressing life's truths. And that's what we are doing and that's what we are trying to achieve.'

But what about the images? The sounds even? When I asked this question, Mr Riyt immediately shoots back an answer or rather answering through a question, ' What good would art be if it were to deliberately hide things? If the truth is obvious, art should also be frank about it. The expression might be abstract or confusing but the bottom line can always be seen and/or heard. And, in our mini-series, such truths are frank, seen and heard.' After that, I grew scared and tried to back down.

In addition, I also decided to approach M.R Production, their sponsor and mastermind. Mr Rico Josty, spokesperson for the subsidiary said that '...they receive numerous complaints from members of the public...' and that '...kid you Pte Ltd told us to handle the case with care and remedy the matter as soon as possible...'. 'The company and us are working closely to tone down the negative impact of the mini-series. We are also approaching the team of writers and poets as well as the director and producer of the mini-series so that they could understand our position and probably alter their work.' continued Mr Rico.

But can that group of highly sensitive people take this criticism? Can they now acknowledge and accept such truths about their work? Would they alter their work for the sake of the sensitive public? Only time will tell and only the truth can withstand the pressure. But at the moment, the show still goes on - to the horror of parents and to the delight of the arty farty.

Thoughts from a little Monster in my Head Ep 3...

It had a box for a head.
A glass screen for a face.
On one side of the box,
A hole was punched for its ears.
Its facial expressions were always programmed.
It was always fixed.
It had an incomplete digital processor for a brain.
Its creator forgot to put in the final pieces.
But it was always suspected that it was deliberate.
Because, if all the pieces of its brain were there,
It would be perfect.
And it knows, there is no such thing as being perfect or thinking perfectly.
Its body was weird.
It had thin arms, a huge belly and thick legs.
It had a chest that look like a pair of breasts.
But it had a penis.
It likes to eat alot.
Its body expands unnecessarily, easily and quickly.
And when this happens, it is compared with the others and commented by the rest.
And when this happens, it is depressed.
But looks and habits aside, it only can depend on one thing.
Its heart.
A heart that truly feels, beats and think in a mechanical and peculiar body.
And it's the heart that it keeps safely in a clear glass case on its left chest.
For all to see.
But for only one in which it gives and surrenders to.
Only one in which it is devoted to.
Only one that understands the mechanisms, intricacies and value of its heart.
And that only one is indeed present.
God-like no less.
It is always happy when it is with her.
And it never did change since then, till now and till then.
It is a forbidden and socially unacceptable relationship.
But it knows that it is true and real.
More true and real than it can ever imagine itself to be.

MQFW

You'd be,
So perfect with me but you just,
Can't see,
You turn every head but you don't,
See me.

-taken from the song Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell On You) from the album Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung.